spencer-pratt

Speidi Split

Here’s some news we all saw coming from a mile away: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have separated. But let’s not breathe a collective sigh of relief until the divorce papers have been filed. Pals of the pair (sidenote: they have friends?) say this is merely a break, rather than a break up. So is this just another ploy for the spotlight, or can we take the Speidi Terror Alert Level down from Red to Green?

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Speidi Split

Crystal Clear

I’ve stopped writing about Heidi’s hills. I’ve stopped writing about Spencer’s freakouts. I’d hoped that, by ignoring them, they’d go away. Unfortunately, they didn’t. Instead, the pair allegedly spent over $400,000 on healing crystals including one that, according to Heidi, will “open your mind to everything.” For someone who’s willing to spend nearly half a mil on healing crystals, I’d say her mind is pretty open already—to ridiculous, borderline crazy ideas.

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Crystal Clear

The List You Don’t Want to Be On

Heidi and Spencer Pratt finally made Time magazine. The couple were featured on a list of Hollywood’s Least Influential people, under the “moron” category. (Yes, they have their own category.) Perfect timing: the duo just announced they’ll produce a dating show called “Fist Pumping for Love,” starring Snooki’s ex, Emilio Masella. With any luck, Emilio will make the Time list next year, too.

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The List You Don’t Want to Be On

Look Up to The Hills

While the cast of The Hills is moving on, Stephanie Pratt is confident she and her castmates have left their mark on America. “We all did a pretty good job of being OK role models for everyone,” Steph said at a Hot Hollywood party. Between the backstabbing, the plastic surgery, and Spencer’s shenanigans, she might be right. The Hills’ lasting legacy is that we all now know what not to do when you hit Hollywood!

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Look Up to The Hills

Speidi Goes Spiritual

Rumor has it that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have taken Native American names to get more in touch with their spirituality. They can call themselves White Wolf (Heidi) and Running Bear (Spencer) if they want to. They’ll always be Plastic Woman and Crazy Man to me.

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Speidi Goes Spiritual

SuperSpencer?

Spencer Pratt, superhero? Recent reports that Spencer was planning to leave The Hills to fight cyber crime sounded too weird to be true…and they are.  He is indeed leaving The Hills for six weeks—but it’s to attend anger management classes after threatening one of the crew. Hey, if your wife was 95 percent plastic, you’d be angry too.

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SuperSpencer?

Heidi: Focused on the Future

Tarot cards, 8-balls, tea leaves…all valuable methods of career-planning if you’re Heidi Montag, who’s decided to let a Hollywood psychic call the shots in her life from now on. So what will this mean for her “career”? Given that Spencer Pratt has been managing her, I predict that things can only go up from here. But hey, I’m no psychic.

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Heidi: Focused on the Future